That Sinking Feeling

If you’ve ever had to make choices in building or remodeling a kitchen, you know the decisions are endless. Take the question of the kitchen sink.

There are hundreds of possible outcomes: single sink or double sink, stainless, porcelain or some other material, various spouts, various sprayers, various controls.

Considering how much time we spend at the kitchen sink, we want it to be just right.

For years I only had a single sink. I used to dream of having a double one. I thought my life would be vastly improved.

When we got a house with a double sink, I only used one side. The other just sat there. Sometimes I let dishes dry there.

One thing I do like is a sprayer. I like to to be able to direct the water into corners of pots or corners of the sink.

The only real drawback to a sprayer was when our children would put a rubber band  around the spray handle every single April Fool’s Day- so that when you turned on the water, it squirted right at you and you’d get soaked. And I fell for it every year.

(These kids. I wonder where they got that from? Their father, surely…)

Then there are disposals. These are all well and good, but they seem to give out after a while and then you have a huge mess on your hands. Disposals also eat spoons from time to time.

If you are ever in someone else’s kitchen it’s always a mystery to find the right button. You run the water and press a switch only to have the light turn on. This is better than going to turn the light on and having the disposal start up – which can be a noisy shock to the system.

Being in a different kitchen requires discernment. Sometimes there are gadgets by the sink you are not prepared for. You wouldn’t want to confuse the soap dispenser for the boiling water dispenser. You could end up with burned hands, or a really lousy cup of tea.

I’m happy with my simple, single sink with a regular, ole faucet and the sprayer on the side. I don’t really want all the bells and whistles. And it seems like nowadays they offer everything. Everything, so to say, but the kitchen sink.

Minimalism- Our Kids Don’t Want Our Stuff

What do I do with the trinket that my great grandmother got in Russia one hundred years ago? I like it. The kids couldn’t care less.

I guess I’ll be the one to break the family chain and get rid of some of this stuff. Because, to varying degrees, they are all minimalists. They don’t want that kind of thing.

I inherited china from my grandmother. It was a huge set and had a coral and blue design of little flowers. It was a Royal Doulton pattern which has been discontinued.

I never would have picked it out. And I had plates for every occasion- dinner, lunch, dessert, bread and butter, teacups and cream soups. It took up a lot of space.

I don’t give formal dinner parties. I used a bit at Christmas. But mostly, it just took up space.

So I boxed it all up and took it to a shop that sells that sort of thing. The person there told me no one really buys fine china these days.

It sat there for months. Then it became discounted from its already low price. Finally, I received word that it had been sold. I would get $150. This for a mammoth amount of antique china. The irony, of course, is that if I went to buy a couple of new plates, I could easily spend $150.

But I am really happy to have it gone. Sorry, grandmother, but it’s just not my thing. And there is plenty more stuff where that came from.

Maybe you have read The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up. This popular Japanese woman asks if your possession “sparks joy.” If it does, you keep it. If not, you get rid of it.

I have things that spark a little joy… But if I have too many things sparking just a little joy, I could have a power outage on my hands. Time to get rid of some of it.

I suppose I’ll ask the kids if any of it sparks some joy for them, or even sparks a little interest.

It will probably not be the hundred-year-old Russian trinket. It will be something I least expect. Hopefully, it isn’t a huge set of antique china.

Net Neutrality?

I don’t claim to understand the cyber world. I wouldn’t understand this new cyber-trading…even if a “coin-bit” me.

But I do understand it more than some of our library patrons.

At the time the idea of net neutrality began being talked about in the press, it just so happened that our library got new computers.

One man came over to talk to me. He was convinced that we bought and installed new computers so that we would be “neutral” and not controlled by the “the internet.”

“It doesn’t really work that way,” I tried to say.

“But you’ve got brand new computers. And you got them just as they started talking about net neutrality.”

I’m pretty sure this is how conspiracy theories begin.

Then the next week an older man came in with a younger man, whom I assumed was his son.

He started asking me where our internet came from.

I told him that our computers used the server from the city.

“No,” he said. “Where do you get your data? Who controls your data?”

The young man with him made an expression that was half apology and half eye-roll. I think he had given up trying any explanation.

I wondered what this man was thinking. Was he possibly thinking that our librarians would sit in a back room and vet all the information that comes across the internet? Or that we tap into some pre-approved data source.

Maybe I should have told him that all our data comes from the government. That it is controlled by a group of five men who live on an island in the Pacific Ocean. It seems like that was what he wanted to hear.

I have plenty of questions myself about what kind of control various large entities have on the information provided and on how algorithms funnel the information I receive.

But I know that buying new computers has very little to do with it and that I cannot personally control all the data that comes to me.

Besides, I know it’s not five men on an island in the Pacific who control all this. Anyone knows it’s really ten men on a peninsula in the Atlantic.

 

Timing A Marriage

It seems that most marriages have timing issues. Usually one of the couple tends to run earlier or later than the other.

Maybe you can tell from the wedding day onward. If the music begins to play and the bride or groom is still getting organized, get ready for a life of mismatched timing.

There are couples out there who are not mismatched -whose timing is similar.

If both run early, they are a power couple (both probably CEOs of their companies). They may be looking at their watches or phones to figure how long they can sit with you.

This is intimidating. Make sure your comments are short and to the point.

If both run late, there is no one to “encourage” the other to hurry along. It’s a wonder this couple gets anywhere. Make sure you plan lots of time for a relaxing conversation with this couple. Time is abstract.

But most couples are mismatched. The USA is a melting pot. In some cultures, it’s rude to arrive at the time you are invited. In other cultures, it’s rude to arrive late. No matter the reason, there is usually one person pacing around waiting while the other person rushes around getting ready in the last minutes.

My father was from a railroad family. He wanted to get everywhere 5-10 minutes early. My mother was not from a railroad family. He tried to gently “railroad” us into being a prompt family.

I tend to run five minutes late. Really, that’s more or less on time, I think. I am married to a decidedly Mediterranean man. He can be very relaxed about the whole clock thing.

I try to tread that fine line between “encouragement” and nagging. He takes his time.

Obviously, things like business meetings and catching planes are in their own category. And we all know it. Some people just wait longer in the terminal than others. And they have probably never missed a flight.

There are other instances where it doesn’t matter so much – an open house or party that is loosely organized. Those are great.

For other events, I confess to not exactly lying to my husband, but to “over-emphasizing” the actual start time of a gathering. For instance, if people say, “Come over between 5:30 and 6:00. We’re aiming to eat at 6:30”. I usually say, “We’re invited for 5:30”. That way, we usually arrive around 6:00, and all is well.

Let me think back to our wedding day. I know I was ready. I guess he got there on time, because here we are – 30 years later and going strong.